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Nov. 15th, 2004 01:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trishkitI just received word that my grandfather passed away. I suppose that I should qualify the "grandfather" label with the further explanation that he is my stepfather's stepfather, but that doesn't truly convey his importance in our lives.
Mac (his first name is Harold and his last name doesn't contain a Mc or Mac) came into our lives when Cat Pee and I were 12 or 13 and my little brother and sister had yet to make an appearance. Mac was a Chief Warrant Officer in the Canadian army and met George's mom when he was stationed nearby. He remained on active duty until he was 65 and was forced to retire. An unbelievably active man, Mac was a talented carpenter and could fix just about anything. I am still amazed at the snowmobile shed that he built for my stepfather. He just showed up and started building and had the thing built and painted in three days (this is including the extra time spent installing a second door so that they could drive through after he realized that one of the snowmobiles didn't have a reverse gear).
Mac was a lovely man with an excellent sense of humour. A natural story-teller, he was full of tall tales and hilarious jokes. Any visit with Mac was filled with laughter and joy. He was also very brave - he taught my two sisters and me how to drive (my brother never seemed to need any lessons). I guess the theory was that if he could teach soldiers to drive tanks he could handle teenaged girls. Well, Mac said that teaching us put more grey hairs on his head than the stupidest grunt ever did, but we all passed our test on the first try. Thanks Mac!
My stepfather's family is very annoying in that they never talk about their family history. We found out boatloads of info about him when his mother's ex-husband passed away (technically he was my stepfather's ex-stepfather - see why I'm not so hung up in labels?). Anyways, we got to meet hitherto-unknown relatives and learned more about George's childhood (and got pictures, lots and lots of pictures). George's mom just doesn't talk a lot. There is also lots that we don't know about Mac. He had been married before and has two grown sons, but doesn't seem to have a very good relationship with them (he has been in the hospital for three months and they have visited very rarely). Don't know the story there.
He also didn't talk very much about his military career. We only found out about five years ago that he once spent a year in England on an exchange and was a commander of some sort for the ceremonial guard at Buckingham Palace. One would think that he'd like to share stories like that; we certainly would have loved to hear them. We didn't know that he was a Mason (understandable) until my stepfather was asked to join (by someone else). It turns out that Mac was a high muckety-muck and he took over George's training or whatever it is. They became quite good friends as a result of the experience.
Long story short, it's a weird family but it works and we loved him a lot.
Mac was diagnosed with stomach cancer last winter. He quickly gave up on treatment because it made him feel horrible. He flatly refused to take any further action. The cancer was quite advanced and I guess he felt that his time had come. About three months ago he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour and has been in the hospital ever since (odd coincidence - George's ex-stepfather died of brain cancer). I'm sure that we could have had more time with him had he accepted treatment, but that was not the quality of life that he wanted. I am very sorry that he is gone, but I can't be sorry over the fact that he died on his own terms.
I don't know what the funeral plans are yet. Theoretically, it could be quite interesting - what with the military and the Masons. But, knowing Mac, he probably didn't want any fuss, so who knows. I hate it when people do that. Funerals are for the living and I hope that we get a chance to mourn properly. One of his sons is in the Middle East, so I don't know when (or if) he will be able to return.
If anyone has managed to read this far - thank you. I know it's incoherent, but I just wanted to write down my thoughts. I am at my sister's house supposedly working on a database that is due to be installed tomorrow, so I have free rein to be as teary and and sad as I want to be (which is good since it is for a hospice, so it's not like I'm going to be able to lose myself in my work). Poor Cat Pee is stuck at work and has to carry on (and you wouldn't believe how bad we look when we cry).
I don't think that Mac wants his memory to bring tears; he'd prefer that we drink a toast (or nine) to him instead. There will be both toasts and tears in the days ahead as we honour the memory of this lovely, lovely man.
God bless you, Mac. You will be sorely missed.
Mac (his first name is Harold and his last name doesn't contain a Mc or Mac) came into our lives when Cat Pee and I were 12 or 13 and my little brother and sister had yet to make an appearance. Mac was a Chief Warrant Officer in the Canadian army and met George's mom when he was stationed nearby. He remained on active duty until he was 65 and was forced to retire. An unbelievably active man, Mac was a talented carpenter and could fix just about anything. I am still amazed at the snowmobile shed that he built for my stepfather. He just showed up and started building and had the thing built and painted in three days (this is including the extra time spent installing a second door so that they could drive through after he realized that one of the snowmobiles didn't have a reverse gear).
Mac was a lovely man with an excellent sense of humour. A natural story-teller, he was full of tall tales and hilarious jokes. Any visit with Mac was filled with laughter and joy. He was also very brave - he taught my two sisters and me how to drive (my brother never seemed to need any lessons). I guess the theory was that if he could teach soldiers to drive tanks he could handle teenaged girls. Well, Mac said that teaching us put more grey hairs on his head than the stupidest grunt ever did, but we all passed our test on the first try. Thanks Mac!
My stepfather's family is very annoying in that they never talk about their family history. We found out boatloads of info about him when his mother's ex-husband passed away (technically he was my stepfather's ex-stepfather - see why I'm not so hung up in labels?). Anyways, we got to meet hitherto-unknown relatives and learned more about George's childhood (and got pictures, lots and lots of pictures). George's mom just doesn't talk a lot. There is also lots that we don't know about Mac. He had been married before and has two grown sons, but doesn't seem to have a very good relationship with them (he has been in the hospital for three months and they have visited very rarely). Don't know the story there.
He also didn't talk very much about his military career. We only found out about five years ago that he once spent a year in England on an exchange and was a commander of some sort for the ceremonial guard at Buckingham Palace. One would think that he'd like to share stories like that; we certainly would have loved to hear them. We didn't know that he was a Mason (understandable) until my stepfather was asked to join (by someone else). It turns out that Mac was a high muckety-muck and he took over George's training or whatever it is. They became quite good friends as a result of the experience.
Long story short, it's a weird family but it works and we loved him a lot.
Mac was diagnosed with stomach cancer last winter. He quickly gave up on treatment because it made him feel horrible. He flatly refused to take any further action. The cancer was quite advanced and I guess he felt that his time had come. About three months ago he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour and has been in the hospital ever since (odd coincidence - George's ex-stepfather died of brain cancer). I'm sure that we could have had more time with him had he accepted treatment, but that was not the quality of life that he wanted. I am very sorry that he is gone, but I can't be sorry over the fact that he died on his own terms.
I don't know what the funeral plans are yet. Theoretically, it could be quite interesting - what with the military and the Masons. But, knowing Mac, he probably didn't want any fuss, so who knows. I hate it when people do that. Funerals are for the living and I hope that we get a chance to mourn properly. One of his sons is in the Middle East, so I don't know when (or if) he will be able to return.
If anyone has managed to read this far - thank you. I know it's incoherent, but I just wanted to write down my thoughts. I am at my sister's house supposedly working on a database that is due to be installed tomorrow, so I have free rein to be as teary and and sad as I want to be (which is good since it is for a hospice, so it's not like I'm going to be able to lose myself in my work). Poor Cat Pee is stuck at work and has to carry on (and you wouldn't believe how bad we look when we cry).
I don't think that Mac wants his memory to bring tears; he'd prefer that we drink a toast (or nine) to him instead. There will be both toasts and tears in the days ahead as we honour the memory of this lovely, lovely man.
God bless you, Mac. You will be sorely missed.
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-15 02:27 pm (UTC)